Certifiable

I think at this point I am in fact certifiably crazy. It's most likely delirium from lack of sleep, but pathologically crazy is on the differential. In other officially certified news, my rank list, too, is certified. What that means in normal people terms is I am now in the waiting game between now and match day. No changes, no going back, as of October 14th, if all goes as planned, I will have a binding contract and a plan for the next 3 years of my life. And for many more years beyond that. This is both exciting and terrifying. Right now, however, it is merely exhausting.

I am on my last block of night float. Never have I been so incredibly happy to be finishing something in my life. Nights is brutal. It is a super fun rotation as a junior resident. It is super NOT fun as a senior. It is 14.5 hour days, lots of decision making, lots of responsibility, lots of different staff. Lots of sick people and scary things. And not a lot of sleep. We have our residency research presentations tomorrow at our annual department conference (which is why this will be short). And as such, I have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night this week. I think maybe i've gotten about 9hrs of sleep in the last 60hrs of life. It's been a long week. Got to bed about 1330 today and slept until about 1830 when I had to get up and ready for a dinner, which I got home from at 2230. And now i'm finishing up for tomorrow, which I have to be in a suit, ready to go, at the conference center downtown tomorrow by 7AM. Why i didn't choose a career that included more sleeping is beyond me. It is brutal. And only going to get moreso I fear, but man is it cool. There's so much I sitll don't know, but working overnight with a fresh new intern really shows you how much you have learned. And sometimes I make clinical decisions and they turn out to be right and that really makes you feel like you know something. So at least there's still some good in it. But its still exhausting. And i will still be very thrilled to be done with nights. Only 2 more weeks. And i get to see my husband tomorrow. First time since July. So I can't wait. Won't be so bad. And I have the weekend off. Lots of sleep. That's my plan.

Ok, hope all is well in your October world. Better practice a few more times then get to bed! Happy fall!!