Decaf isn't coffee, and other important life lessons

I'm sitting on the couch in front of the fire I managed to figure out how to light (ok, gas log, people) but I did have to figure out how to get the gas on and light the pilot and all that jazz, so I'm pretty stoked to be enjoying a little toasty warmness.  I have to admit it makes me think of a few people (if you'll indulge me getting sentimental for a few minutes) - makes me think of my good friend, Laura, who had their gas log fire burning from October through March non-stop at her last house.  I always loved to snuggle up on the couch and try to catch up with our afternoon coffee while her kiddos ran around.  The fact that I figured out how to get the thing lit makes me think of my dad.  I am pretty handy - for a girl, but even maybe a little handy compared to many a guy.  And I get pretty irritated if I can't figure something out.  Traits I get from my father - both the handiness and the irritation that comes with lack of success.  Anyway, I got the fire going, feat accomplished.  Lastly it reminds me of M2 year.  For any of you who have been around that long you may remember that was a rough one.  Or you may not know that because I fell off the earth that year and didn't see or talk to any of you for months.  But that year my roommate Melissa and I would start our gas fireplace (that one really just needed the flick of a switch, but it did involve some of the same pilot lighting skills I portrayed tonight).  Anyway, we would light the fire, make a glass of something hot, and lay around in front of it and study.  It made us feel a little like normal people to spend our evenings in front of the fire.  We weren't normal.  We were studying something like 16hrs a day, and our evenings in front of the fire were marred by microbiology and pharmacology notes, but a tiny piece of me misses those days - we found a tiny piece of normalcy amidst the pretty shitty thing that was our lives at that point, and that was enough to get us through. 

Ok, done with that sentimental run :) 

So as I sit here, I'm enjoying a cup of "coffee" in front of the fire.  It's decaf.  It doesn't even taste remotely like coffee.  Laura will back me up on this.  I don't even know why we do it to ourselves.  They shouldn't be allowed to sell this with the same name.  It might be better to be awake all night than to try to drink this and pretend it's coffee.  But, since I actually can't do my job without a decent sleep, I am suffering through.  But in case you ever think, hey, maybe I should try me some decaf coffee.  Don't. 

In other news, residency continues to move along.  It's getting a little wearing, i'll admit.  The novelty has worn off, the exhaustion has set in.  Really my hours haven't been so bad, but I sometimes think I have a distorted sense of reality.  lol - ok I for sure do because I just logged my hours for last week and Monday-today I worked 74hrs, which is still quite I few.  Things are still going well, and it has been more fun lately in that I'm getting closer to other residents, so the social part of things has been fun.  It has been harder though missing out on the other parts of life.  I was catching up on blog entries from my friends - I only had time to read a few, so really nowhere near caught up - but it does make me a little sad.  I miss out on a lot, and I know they miss having me around, too.  It is hard to have time to even make phone calls or send emails.  I haven't sent a bday card in years and have actually started to fail at sending bday texts.  Lucky for me, though, I have friends and family who are understanding and are excited to see me when they can even if that means once every few months or once a year.  I'd like to say things will get better, and to some degree they will, but in a lot of ways its just our version of busy.  Everyone has theirs - everyone's time is filled up - mine just happens to be by time at the hospital.  And that's ok - because I'm learning a lot.  And I get to do really cool things.  Like catch babies.  I mean I got to deliver 3 babies last night, while everyone else was sleeping, that's what I did, so it's not so bad.  But just so everyone knows - I miss you all.

Alright, well, I better get back to working on things so I can get to bed!  I hope everyone has a great and safe halloween.  Sorry this wasn't the most informative or uplifting post :)  But things are good - busy, but good.  We will talk soon....